One of the most valuable traits for any entrepreneur is resonating with the right people in your life to form lasting connections. Honestly, it is one of the most valuable traits for any human being. As the founder of the Success Motivation Institute, Inc. Paul J. Meyer once wrote “Communication – the human connection —  is the key to personal and career success.”

The critical issue is resonating with the right people, not just connecting with anyone and everyone. It’s about finding people who resonate with you. The aim is to surround yourself with individuals who inspire you to reach new heights spiritually, professionally and personally. To accomplish that, and to find those people, you’ll need to be the right kind of person first. 

Below are suggestions and a brief overview of who you’ll need to be, what behaviors you’ll need to check at the door, and how to initiate and maintain resonance with the right people.

Who You Need To Be

Present In the Moment

Worrying about the future and having regrets about the past serves no one. The only part of your life you can control is what you do in the here and now. Choose to connect and stay in touch with the people who inspire you to be better every day. Purge the people in your life who are not pouring into you. Maintain top-notch relationships always even if it is just a quick text, an email or a phone call from time to time. These minor interactions will yield significant returns.

Authentic

The concept of “game recognize game” is not new. If you are genuine in your intentions and actions, genuine people will want to connect with you. Do the work to identify your strengths. Always be open about your own strengths and weaknesses. Strive to be who you are without a mask with everyone you meet.

Be Open, Regardless of How You Feel

Sharing yourself and being vulnerable with others is not always easy, nor is active listening when someone shares with you. Sometimes it requires sacrifice on your part. It’s important. If you want to resonate with the right people, they’ll need to know you are a resource they can count on reliably. Keep your heart and mind open in every interaction.

Be Empathetic and Kind

Anger serves no one. Yet, emotions such as that do occur. It’s a natural human emotion. To deny it exists is to deny part of who you are as a human. 

Think of it like the Native American analogy of breaking off the left half of a stick to throw it away: no matter how many times you break the stick, it will always have a left half. Attempting to rid yourself of anger completely works the same way. 

However, there is no need to hold on to anger. You can always be kind no matter the circumstances. Be kind to others, and be kind to yourself. Do not deny your emotions or the emotions others are feeling. They exist, they are valid and they are a part of us. Show everyone the kindness and empathy you want to be shown. Treat people as they want to be treated and the right people will be drawn to you.

Be Trustworthy

Be willing to give and receive reliably. Yes, receive. This is a great leadership lesson. Also, reciprocity goes a long way. When asking a favor, always offer one in return.  Build a reputation around the trust others put in you, and be willing to trust them to do as they say even if you feel they may let you down. To build trust, you must always give it first. Willingness to trust and be trusted will help resonate and attract the right people.

What You Need To Check At The Door

Attempting To Resonate With Others by Trying to Impress

You are perfectly imperfect the way you are now. You do not need special talents, hobbies or accomplishments to define you and you do not need to know a lot about fascinating topics. What interests you have and what you know now will interest others, regardless of what it is. Your passion for what you truly love and enjoy will resonate with the right people.

Attempting to Resonate With Others Based on a Shared Dislikes

Negativity is magnetic. It is easy to get pulled into the quicksand of gossip and backbiting when others are around. Bonding with others who are quick to express their dislike of colleagues and friends should be a huge red flag. If you’ve engaged in such behavior, stop right now. You will not resonate with high caliber people if you’re constantly engaged in mudslinging. It is possible to remove judgement from your life. Doing so will free the mind.

Attempting to Resonate With Others When You are Always “On”

You do not need to play a part, wear a mask, create a persona or act a specific way to resonate with the right people. It is inauthentic, dishonest and ineffective. Be who you are, right where you are, and show everyone you are real. That more than anything will cause the right people to try to get to know you. There is no version of you that the right people want to see more than the real you. 

How to Resonate With The Right People

Make Everyone You Meet Feel Important

There is no greater gift you can give others than to reinforce to them that they exist and matter. Treat every person you come into contact with as important because they are important. This mindset is essential to fostering respect and a shared sense of purpose in the workplace. It lifts everyone up regardless of where they are in their life journey. Do this and the right people will recognize this quality about you immediately, and they will seek to form connections with you.

Find a Common Interest

We all share something in common with others. Your job is to determine what that something is.  Sports, art, food, wine, television, music, film and more are enjoyed by millions around the world, you can find something in common with anyone. Showing genuine interest in mutual passions resonates powerfully with the people you want in your life. It demonstrates you are not just looking for something for nothing. Hobbies are important. They bind us and create rapport.

Do not Script

Nowadays, everyone knows a pitch when they hear it. Don’t even bother. Converse honestly with people about what you are looking for and openly communicate what you are seeking to accomplish. Your openness and honesty will resonate with potential mentors and supporters and it demonstrates that you value their time.

Take Careful Note of the Remarkable

Remembering and referencing interesting topics and ideas from past conversations shows people you value what they say. Just like making everyone feel important raises everyone up, noting their words and calling attention to them later makes them feel valued. These are exactly the kind of exchanges you want to have with quality people.

Seek to Learn From Everyone

There is nothing worse than a “know it all”. You will never gain anything if you go around spouting your ideas all day with closed ears, mind and heart. Seek out what others can teach you, in all situations. Be curious, learn everything you can and champion the ideas of others as much as your own. Try listening more than you talk. You may find you love it. 

Note: Do not Play the “One-Up” Game. When someone shares his or her accomplishments with you, share that experience with them. Revel in it. Many times, there is always a temptation to share something of your own that is just a little bit better. Don’t. Do. It. 

Nothing kills communication faster than one-upping someone. If someone shares that they have been battling illness, do not compare it to how you battled illness one time for a longer period and survived. If someone tells you about a vacation to a mountain lake, do not hold forth at length about your trip to Machu Picchu. Listen and celebrate as the situation demands. That’s the kind of person everyone wants to know.

Ask Thoughtful Questions

Before asking a question or making a request, carefully consider what you hope to learn from the answer and work to make questions open-ended. Ask “why” and “how” questions that demand more than a simple yes or no. If you want to grow and learn all you can, you will be better served by open-ended questions. Have a definite objective in mind. Invest a moment to thoughtfully architect the conversation. Do not simply request random information. The people you want in your life can impart wisdom along with information, but you will not access it if you are not willing to ask quality questions. 

Resonating with the right people means working first on yourself and the mind. You’ll need to become your most authentic self. Free yourself from negative impulses and influences and become the best leader you can be. Be candid, be kind, be empathetic and be trustworthy. Be the person you want to have in your life, and leave any facade or performance behind. The right people will immediately recognize you for who you are and resonate with you accordingly.