How to Resonate With The Right People

Make Everyone You Meet Feel Important

There is no greater gift you can give others than to reinforce to them that they exist and matter. Treat every person you come into contact with as important, because they are important. This mindset is essential to fostering respect and a shared sense of purpose in the workplace. It lifts everyone up regardless of where they are in their life journey. Do this and the right people will recognize this quality about you immediately, and they will seek to form connections with you.

Find a Common Interest

We all share something in common with others. Your job is to determine what that something is.  Sports, art, food, wine, television, music, film and more are enjoyed by millions around the world, you can find something in common with anyone. Showing genuine interest in mutual passions resonates powerfully with the people you want in your life. It demonstrates you are not just looking for something for nothing. Hobbies are important. They bind us and create rapport.

Do not Script

Nowadays, everyone knows a pitch when they hear it. Don’t even bother. Converse honestly with people about what you are looking for and openly communicate what you are seeking to accomplish. Your openness and honesty will resonate with potential mentors and supporters and it demonstrates that you value their time.

Take Careful Note of the Remarkable

Remembering and referencing interesting topics and ideas from past conversations shows people you value what they say. Just like making everyone feel important raises everyone up, noting their words and calling attention to them later makes them feel valued. These are exactly the kind of exchanges you want to have with quality people.

Seek to Learn From Everyone

There is nothing worse than a “know it all”. You will never gain anything if you go around spouting your ideas all day with closed ears, mind and heart. Seek out what others can teach you, in all situations. Be curious, learn everything you can and champion the ideas of others as much as your own. Try listening more than you talk. You may find you love it. 

Note: Do not Play the “One-Up” Game. When someone shares his or her accomplishments with you, share in that experience with them. Revel in it. Many times, there is always a temptation to share something of your own that is just a little bit better. Don’t. Do. It. 

Nothing kills communication faster than one-upping someone. If someone shares that they have been battling illness, do not compare it to how you battled illness one time for a longer period and survived. If someone tells you about a vacation to a mountain lake, do not hold forth at length about your trip to Machu Picchu. Listen and celebrate as the situation demands. That’s the kind of person everyone wants to know.

Ask Thoughtful Questions

Before asking a question or making a request, carefully consider what you hope to learn from the answer and work to make questions open-ended. Ask “why” and “how” questions that demand more than a simple yes or no. If you want to grow and learn all you can, you will be better served by open-ended questions. Have a definite objective in mind. Invest a moment to thoughtfully architect the conversation. Do not simply request random information. The people you want in your life can impart wisdom along with information, but you will not access it if you are not willing to ask quality questions. 

Resonating with the right people means working first on yourself and the mind. You’ll need to become your most authentic self. Free yourself from negative impulses and influences and become the best leader you can be. Be candid. Be kind. Be empathetic. Be trustworthy. Be the person you want to have in your life, and leave any facade or performance behind. The right people will immediately recognize you for who you are and resonate with you accordingly.